


Preventative Action

by Notmarysue



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Light-Hearted, Pre-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 21:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14505996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notmarysue/pseuds/Notmarysue
Summary: In an alternative universe the VFD get an awful feeling that something is terribly wrong. Unable to prove anything and unsure of Count Olaf's plan no direct action can be taken. However, they can weaken him using the people he relies on most: his theatre troop.





	Preventative Action

Count Olaf returned home in the early hours of the morning, his clothes covered in ash and soot. He hadn't exactly needed to go out and see the ruins of the Baudelaire mansion, he could see just fine through the telescope in his tower, but just standing there among with burnt timber, the smell the smoke filling the night air, felt so incredibly comforting. It was reassurance that all his plans were in motion. He reached his front door. Oh how lovely he would make the place when he got his hands on that fortune. For now though he was stuck with damp walls, freezing rooms, and free loading morons making a racket at 5am.

"What do you idiots think you're doing?" He growled as he entered the house. He hadn't even looked at them before deciding something was up. When he did he found himself confused and ever so slightly concerned. In the hallway stood his entire theatre troop with their worldly possessions all packed up (which in the end amounted to three suitcases and a couple of plastic bags between all of them).

"Oh hey, boss. You're home earlier than we excepted." The man with hooks for hands smiled nervously.

"Am I? And where exactly do you think you're going?" Asked Count Olaf.

"Well we were actually meaning to talk to you about that. You see we are...urr...we're-"

"Resigning." Said the bald headed man.

"Resigning?" Olaf scowled.

"Effective immediately." The white faced women told him in unison.

"Resigning to do what exactly? I'm the only one around who would hire you." Olaf reminded them.

"Actually we already have new jobs." Said the hench-person of indeterminate gender.

"Really?"

"Yeah. See a few nights ago we got letters from this fire department in the hinterlands." They began to explain.

"The hinterlands? But why would...oh no." Olaf's heart sank as the penny dropped. Even after all so long those self-righteous pricks insisted on messing with his life.

"The letter says it's technically a volunteer organisation but they have connections that could help further us into our chosen career paths." Explained the man with hooks for hands.

"They have a great dental plan." Said one of the white faced women.

"And a wide range of other benefits." Added her sister.

"I've used those benefits. They're not all they're cracked up to be." Olaf told them.

"We'll risk it." The bald headed man shrugged as he attempted to barge past.

"Wait." Olaf through his arms out wide. It was a barrier that could easily be broken but out of well conditioned loyalty the trope stopped anyway. "I may not be the best of employers. Okay I don't offer a dental plan or a pension and sure whether I pay you or not is a little hit or miss."

"Mostly miss." Said the hench-person of indeterminate gender.

 

"But we have more than that. We're friends. We're family." He smiled warmly.

"Actually I find the work environment here quite hostile." Said the hench-person of indeterminate gender.

"Hostile?" Snapped Olaf.

"I mean you don't even know my name."

"Of course I do. It's urr...it's urr...begins with-"

"It's Nat." They told him.

"Really? Is that short for something?" Asked Olaf.

" Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. You'll never know." They shrugged.

"Fine." Shouted Olaf as he slammed his arm in front of the door. "And how exactly do you intend on getting to the hinterlands? There's only one car in the driveway. Don't forget whose name is on the license." He hissed.

"They're sending a taxi." Said the man with hooks for hands.

"Of course they are. Why does this happen to me?" Olaf grumbled to himself as a clear horn beeped outside and his theatre troop clattered through the door. He followed them out. Just as he thought. There sat that smug bastard Jacque Snicket in the driver seat.

"Here let me help you with that." Said Olaf as he snatched one of the plastic bags from the bald headed man. He threw it carelessly into the boot and marched up to the driver's window. As the theatre troop climbed in he tapped three times as hard as he could without breaking the glass, his face lined with thunder.

"Good morning." Jacque grinned.

"What do you think you're doing?" Olaf growled.

"I'm operating a perfectly legitimate service at a reasonable price. Would you like a card? We recently started doing airport and school runs." He informed him.

"No thank you."

"Suit yourself." Said Jacque.

"I meant what are you doing with my theatre troop?" Olaf clarified.

"A request of the VFD. We've noticed an awful lot of suspicious going on's recently, fires and the like, and we all had a terrible gut feeling-"

"Probably gas." Olaf interrupted.

"That you were involved." Jacque continued, ignoring the comment. "Now we have no evidence and the VFD is not about reprimanding people without proof so..."

"You thought you'd steal my theatre troop. Very good. Not even your scheming wreck of a younger brother would think to go that low." Olaf spat.

"I'll tell him you said that." Jacque scowled.

"Go ahead, be my guest. I'm sure he'd take it as a compliment."

"For your information I didn't steal anyone. I merely offered an alternative. They were under no obligation to come." Jacque pointed out.

"Well I hope you all have a wonderful time. They're your problem now." Olaf turned around and walked the leaf covered drive back to this empty home. No matter. The Baudelaires were in his grasp either way, even if he did have to do everything alone.

"You can come with us you know?" Jacque called. "It would be a little cramped but there's always room for you. We can still make amends."

Olaf sighed and turned around. He walked back to the driver's window as quiet as a mouse. Yet the anger was not gone. It lingered at boiling point. This what many called the calm before the storm. Except the storm never came. Instead he leaned his red face through the open window so far in that Jacque could smell his rancid breath.

"Drop. Dead." He snarled.

"Perhaps another time." Jacque nodded sadly. He let Olaf step away and wound up the window before speeding away, theatre troop and all.


End file.
